A piece from Ann (my hausmate)

This article was written by Ann, my windang-laging lumulutang ang utak-girl na hausmate ko....Hope you'll enjoy this one as much as I do...

Tuesday, another day of chaos. Last night was a whole damned conversation of lies. I’ve been thinking a lot of ways to resolve these problems but it seems as though everything ends-up the same. I’m a total loser. Loser of all the mistakes I’ve made. Loser of all the sins I’ve committed. And now, here I am listening to what I can accrue to hear into myself and drown myself with all the lies I could make. I am absolutely helpless.

End of day…still troubled…

I sent my friend a message telling her how much I shit off with all those things around me. Besides, there’s no such thing as hate if only love answers the questions.

What have I done? I really felt frustrated.

And you…my almighty sin…

You are the reason of everything, the logic of my mind, the beat of my heart. You are a necessity – a basic mixture to quench, a drought human, a sin of my soul, the passion and a use of sufficing one’s lust. You are a deadly sin, too much unlawful to consider irrational. You have bought my smiles and I sold every little thing I possessed, the cost of priceless laughs and undying touch leads me to what I’ve never expected to achieve and condemn myself to somehow the worst idea of wasting time with you. I curse myself for being this abnormal. And stupid. And selfish. And too much brat. I injected the dosage of permission in me and I relied on it that’s why I’m such like this, that’s why I’m melting all over you. I wish I had peace of mind. If not tonight, maybe tomorrow or the next day not until I die.

And the bottom line, don’t expect too much for expecting less won’t cause you disappointments.

In a more matured and lighter perspective, I don’t think I have to hold on for something not really meant for me.